Misc Jokes

1960's vs 2000

Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: The perfect high.
Now: The perfect high-yield mutual fund.

Then: KEG.
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid Rock.
Now: Acid reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

Then: Pot.
Now: Pot belly.

Then: Watching John Glenn make history.
Now: Watching John Glenn on the History channel.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth
Taylor.
Now: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth
Taylor.

Then: Seeds and stems are bad.
Now: Roughage is good.

Then: Popping pills, smoking joints.
Now: Popping joints.

Then: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
Now: Our president's struggle with fidelity.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: Wishing you could have a BMW.
Now: Wishing you could have a BM.

Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint.

Then: Rolling Stones.
Now: Kidney stones.

Then: Being called into the principal's office.
Now: Being called by the principal's office.

Then: Screw the system!
Now: Upgrade the system!

Then: Peace sign.
Now: Mercedes logo.

Then: Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
Now: Children begging you to get their heads shaved.

Then: Acid.
Now: Antacid.

Then: Passing the driver's test.
Now: Passing the vision test.

Then: "Whatever"
Now: "Depends