Misc Jokes

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road - Explained

Why did the chicken cross the road? Here are some
opinions...

Darwin: ------- Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they are now
genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Freud: ------- The fact that you thought that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Machiavelli: ------------- The point is that the chicken
crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the
road justify whatever motive there was.

Albert Camus: --------------- It doesn't matter; the
chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Oliver Stone: -------------- The question is not "Why did
the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing
the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to
observe the chicken crossing?"

Bill Clinton: -------------- It wasn't me. I wasn't chasing
the chicken. There was no inappropriate relationship between
me and the chicken.

Newt Gingrich -------------- Because the Chicken was kicked
out of the coop.

Jerry Seinfeld: -------------- Why does anyone cross a
road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the
heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place
anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.: ------------------------ I
envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without having their motives called into question.

Immanuel Kant: -------------- The chicken, being an
autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free
will.

George Orwell: ------------ Because the government had
fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his
own free will, when he was really only serving their
interests.

Karl Marx: -------------- It was a historical inevitability.

Nietzsche: ------------ Because if you gaze too long across
the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Jean-Paul Sartre: ------------------ In order to act in
good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it
necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein: ----------------- Whether the chicken
crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon
your frame of reference.

Buddha: ------- If you ask this question, you deny your own
chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: --------------------- It didn't
cross the road; it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway: ----------------- To die. In the rain.

Bill Gates: ----------- I have just released the new
Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads, balance your
checkbook, and solve your Y2K problem.

Colonel Sanders of KFC: ------------------------ I missed
one?