Misc Jokes

Cruise Stories

These are true stories from someone who works on a cruise
ship.

1. (For this one, you have to know that it's really easy to
get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A
lady asked if this elevator went to the front of the ship.

2. Two elderly women were staring at the numbers of the
floors listed above the elevator door. When asked if they
needed any assistance with something, one asked how they were
going to be able to reach way up there to push the button for
their floor.

3. A newlywed couple, after bringing their luggage into
their cabin, stormed down to the desk. The bride was in
tears, and the groom was red faced. When asked what the
problem was, the groom started swearing at the desk clerk.
"We booked a cabin with a view for our honeymoon, and all we
get to see out the window is a parking lot!"

4. There was some mix-up with a woman's room. The clerk (or
whatever they are called on ships) was trying to remedy the
situation. He asked, "Would you like an inside cabin or an
outside cabin?" She replied, "Well, it looks like it might
rain today. I'd better get an inside cabin."

5. Two women were sitting by the pool, and one asked what
kind of water they fill the pool with -- fresh water or sea
water? The cruise director answered, "Sea water." "Oh, that
explains why it's so rough today."

6. Someone -- always a man -- always asks, "does the ship
run on generators?" The Cruise Director usually tells them,
"No, we just have a very long power line running to the
mainland."

7. "What do you do with the ice sculptures after they melt?"