Misc Jokes

The Laws of Life

Murphy's First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store
and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget
two of the first five.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your
tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes
and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home
pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be
doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any
food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the
market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you
will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet
the boss in the parking lot.