Misc Jokes

Chicken Ranch

My uncle was in the fertilized egg business when I was
young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets,
and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilize the eggs. My
uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't
perform well went into the pot and was replaced. Now this
took an awful lot of time. So when my uncle saw a set of
eight tiny bells that each rang a different tone he promptly
bought them.

He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the
bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a
bell on each rooster's neck and went and
mixed a Mint Julep. Now he could sit on the porch and sip
while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by
listening to the different tones of the
bells and marking down each encounter.

My uncle's favorite rooster was old Brewster. Brewster was a
fine specimen, but his bell didn't ring all morning. Uncle
went to investigate.

Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.
Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd
sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next
one. Chagrined at first, Uncle was soon so proud of Brewster
he entered him in the county fair.

Brewster was an overnight sensation. They not only awarded
him the No Bell prize but also the Pullet Surprise.