Misc Jokes

Cybernetic Implants

Roger sits down at the counter of his local bar.
"Bartender," he says, "give me the bottle of your strongest
whiskey."

The bartender laughs, "Sure thing, pal, $150."

He hands Roger the bottle, who instantly begins guzzling it
down.

"My God!" said the bartender, "I've never seen anyone drink
whisky that fast!"

"Well," said Roger, "I'm actually part of a new medical
experiment, you see I have a series of cybernetic implants
designed to allow me to handle any amount of alcohol very
quickly."

"Is that so?" said the bartender.

"Yes," said Roger, suddenly there is a loud buzzing from his
chest.

"That's my metal stomach, codenamed old clanker, adding it
to my bloodstream." Another low humming now. "That's my
cyborg liver, codenamed old trusty, processing the whiskey."
A high pitched whistle came from Roger's lower torso. "That
is my titanium kidney, codenamed old bean."

Suddenly, a man in a mask with a gun bursts through the
door.

"Alright, this is a robbery," he shouts, pointing his gun at
the bartender, "all the money, NOW!" Everyone in the bar is
terrified, with the exception of Roger, who turns to face the
robber on his stool. All of a sudden, a deep rumbling shakes
the bar. Roger's fly bursts open and a yellow geyser rushes
forth, throws the robber out the door, across the street, and
into a brick wall.

The bartender shouts, awestuck, "What the hell was that?"

Roger smiles, "That was the last implant I got, codenamed
old faithful."