Misc Jokes

Artichokes

A man hires a hitman named Arty to murder his wife. He
tells him the information on how to find her.

Arty asks for $100.

The man says he doesn't have $100.

Arty tells him to give him whatever he has.

The man has one dollar, so he gives it to him.

Arty finds the man's wife in Vons and starts choking her.
He realizes that the cashier is watching, so he chokes him
too.

Obviously, the camera has this all on tape. The next day,
on the front page, the headline reads:

Arty chokes 2 for a dollar at Vons!