Misc Jokes

Ebonics X-mas

An Ebonics X-mas The Night Befo' Crizmus

Wuz da night befo Crizmus An all thru da hood
Everybody be sleepin' Dey was sleepin real good

We hunged up our stockins An hoped like all heck
Dat 'ol Sanny Claws Gonna brang us our check

All of da fambly Wuz layin in beds While
Thunderbird wine Danced thru dere heds

I dun passed out on ze flo' Right nex to my maw
When I heared such a fuss I thunk - it mus be da law

I looked out thru da bars What could I now do I was
spectin the sherrif With a warrent for sho'

And what did I see Made me say, "Lawd look at dat"
Dere was a huge watahmelon Pulled by 8 big ass rats

Now ober all da years Sanny Claws he be white But
it looks like us bros Get a black Sanny tonite

Faster dan a po lice car My homeboy he came He
whupped up on dem rats As he called dem be name

On Leroy, On Roosevelt On Virvus, On Willie On
Yolanda, On Crayola On Kiesha, and Nefrotilly

An 'ol Sanny landed dat watahmelon Out dere in da
street I knowed it fo shu Da damnest ting I eber did
seed

Dat black Sanny didn't go down no chimbly He picked da
lock on my do' An I sez to myeslf "Shit - He dis befo'

He had did big bag Full of prezents I speck Wif
Air Jordans and fake gold To wear roun my nek

But he left no prezents Jus started stealin my shit
Got my guns, got my crack Eben my burgler's kit

Wit my shit in his bag Out da windo he flew I sho
woulda chased him But he got my knife too

He jumped on dat watahmelon Wit out a hitch He wuz
gone in a second That son of a bitch

So nex year I be hopin' A white Sanny we git 'Cause
a black Sanny Claws Jus ain't worf a shit!