Politics Jokes

California Drivers License Test

LA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name:______________ Stage name:________________

Agent:______________ Attorney:__________________

Sex: ___Male ___Female ___Formerly Male ___Formerly
Female

If female, indicate breast implant size: ____

Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely
operate a
motor

vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: __________________. (If
you don't own
a cell phone, please explain.)

Please check hair color:

Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check
all that apply)

[ ] Eating
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the backseat
[ ] Having sex
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of
application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop

Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers, and
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while
driving.

TEST

If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should
immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime;
b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch
your car on
the
news on a high-speed chase;
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against
cellular phone
company
for 911 call not going through;
d) Call your therapist;
e) None of the above (South Central residents only).

In the event of an earthquake, should you:
a) stop your car,
b) keep driving and hope for the best,
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved
ones, or
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for
Channel 4?

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) never drive over 5 MPH,
b) drive twice as fast as usual, or
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac;
b) Zovirax;
c) Lithium;
d) Zanax;
e) Valium.

If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) 1 hour;
b) 2 hours;
c) 3 hours;
d) 4 hours or more.

When stopped by police, should you
a) pull over and have your driver's license and
insurance form
ready,
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the
405,
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to
attack, thus
ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit?

********************
Please turn in your test to the lady behind the bulletproof
virtual window
on your left.