Politics Jokes

Dear Bill Clinton

From the President's e-mail box:
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Dear Bill:

As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your
predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in
my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my
lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless
you in this time of trial.

Jimmy Carter ---------------------- Dear Bill: OK,
so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a
babe! Gary Hart ----------------------

My Dear Chap:

This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I
should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through.
Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and
all will be forgiven.

Hugh Grant

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Bill:

They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel
with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can
you!

Mayor Marion Berry

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Dear Bill:

Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing
Monica's thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports
show? I'm back on TV for the Fall.

Marv Albert

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Dear Mr. President:

You may have noticed that I'm not jumping on the impeachment
bandwagon. Let me assure you, you're not the only one in
Washington who thinks oral sex isn't really sex.

Warm personal regards,

Newt ----------------------------

Dear Bill:

Hang in there, pal! By the way, Kathie Lee sends Hillary her
regards and invites her to come on her show anytime. Frank
Gifford

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Dear Mr. President:

Now I'm on the Supreme Court. I'm here for life! And there's
nothing anyone can do about it! So there!

Justice Clarence (Long Dong) Thomas

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Dear Former Worthy Opponent:

Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have
gotten himself into this mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before
Viagra, anyway!

Bob Dole

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Dear Mr. President:

I think it's terrible what they are doing to you, and I want
you to know that if you need to get away from it all, you're
welcome to bring Buddy and stay with me on my Wonderland
Ranch for as long as you want. I'll move the Cub Scout Pack
to a tent on the lawn and you can have their room.

Michael Jackson

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Dear Fellow Sinner:

Jesus forgives you and so do I.

Rev. Jimmy Swaggart

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Dear Bill:

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Jim Bakker

P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with
you sometime.

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Dear Bill:

Next time (if there is a next time), won't let them get you
on tape. Big mistake!!

With sympathy, Rob Lowe

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Dear Bill:

If I survived being a tampon, you can survive the cigar bit.
Things were grim for a while, but now it looks like I might
actually manage to marry my darling Camilla, and someday I'll
be King! Funny how life turns out. So keep a stiff upper lip!
(And relax everything else, haha! And they say I don't have a
sense of humor...)

HRH Charles Windsor, Prince of Wales

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Dear Mr. President,

We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue.
Editor, Cigar magazine