Politics Jokes

United States Foreign Policy?

U.S. TO BEGIN BOMBING ENGLAND UNLESS PEACE ACCORD IS
RATIFIED BY ENGLAND AND BREAK-AWAY PROVINCE OF N. IRELAND

The White House -- President Clinton announced today that
an
all out bombing offensive against England will begin in two
weeks, unless a peace accord is ratified by England and its
break-away province of Northern Ireland. Along with
liberating Northern Ireland, the President said that all
British culinary institutes would be fair game for bombing.
After the attack, NATO peace keeping troops will be sent in
to ensure that all dentists can operate safely and without
the threat of attack.

"Using the fine logic we crafted in the Kosovo
intervention,
we have decided to add, incrementally, to the list of peace
initiatives around the world," he said in a prepared
statement.
A background briefing indicated that on a weekly schedule,
the
Clinton administration would intervene in the following
areas:

Week one -- Bombing of England to free Northern Ireland,
and
to destroy the legendarily bad cuisine fabrication
facilities.

Week two -- Bombing of Ankara, Baghdad and Teheran to free
the
Kurds. Oh yeah, letãs not forget all of the oil reserves
we
would gain.

Week three -- Bombing of several random African countries
to
stop the Hutus from killing Tutsis.

Week four -- Bombing of both Istanbul and Athens to solve
the
Cyprus problem, and end the argument over whether Socrates
was
actually homosexual or not.

Week five -- Bombing of Madrid to free the Basque Country,
also
to shut up the people at PETA because one target would be
the
bull fighting rings.

Week six -- Bombing of Ottawa to free the Quebecois.

Week seven -- Bombing of Jakarta to free the Timor Islands.

Week eight -- Bombing of Switzerland because it is due time
that
they were bullied.

Week nine -- Bombing of Paris to free Corsica, and those
wishing
to use deodorant and razors.

Week ten -- Bombing of Washington, D.C. to free the
Confederate of
Southern States, held captive for 139 years, and to free up
more
Senate seats for Hillary to possibly run for.

Week eleven -- Bombing of North Dakota so that South Dakota
might
finally be recognized as a "real" state.

"This schedule will do until we can come up with others,"
said
Madeline Albright, Secretary of State.

When asked whether or not the US would bomb Beijing in order
to
free Tibet she responded, "something that practical would
never
be on a military agenda."