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Top Ten Things Monica Lewinsky Can Do To Mend Her Reputation

10. Appear on "E.R." as woman who keeps getting stuff caught
in her throat.

9. Hire PR firm that improved Charles Manson's reputation.

8. Rejoin her old band The Go-Gos.

7. Become the U.S. Ambassador to Grabasslavia.

6. Help "straighten out" that Teletubby.

5. Change name to Sara Lee Lewinsky (because nobody doesn't
like Sara Lee).

4. Break up N'Sync the way Yoko broke up the Beatles.

3. Perform Heimlich Maneuver on choking Hillary Clinton: Aim
wad of dislodged food at Linda Tripp's face.

2. Lure terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden into trap by
flashing her thong.

1. Stop the damn smirking.



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