Relationship Jokes

To The Bar

This couple had only been married for two weeks. The
husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out
into town and party, so he says to his new bride, "Honey,
I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going coochi cooh...?" asks his wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a
beer." replies the husband.

The wife puts her hands on her hips and says to him, "You
want a beer my love...?" Then she opens the door to the
refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands
from 12 different countries.

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that
he can think of saying is: "Yes, loolie loolie ... but the
bar ... you know ... the frozen glass."

He didn't get to finish saying the sentence, when the wife
interrupts him by saying, "You want a frozen glass puppy
face...?" She takes out of the freezer a huge beer mug so
frozen that the wife was getting the chills from holding it.

The husband looking a bit pale says, "Yes, tootsie roll. But
at the bar they have those hoer's de devours that are really
delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise.
OK?"

"You want hoer's de devours poochi pooh..?" She opens the
oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hoer's de devours
... chicken wings, pigs in the blanket, mushroom caps, pork
strips, etc.

"But sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know ... the
swearing, the dirty words and all that..." replies the
husband in desparation.

"You want dirty words cutie pie...? HERE! DRINK YOUR DAMN
BEER IN YOUR FUCKING FROZEN GLASS AND EAT YOUR FUCKING HOER'S
DE VOURS, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE ASSHOLE!