Relationship Jokes

His Needs / Her Needs

Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion
is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says,
"WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with
her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that
nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal
with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big
department store. He walks around and has her try on three
very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife
to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching
shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewelry
Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife
is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out -- but
she does not care. She goes for the tennis bracelet. The
husband says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you
like it then let's get it." The wife is jumping up and down
so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says
"I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The
husband says, "No, no, no, honey we're not going to buy all
this stuff." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." Her face gets
really mad and she is about to explode and the Husband says,
"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man!!!"