Relationship Jokes

Mr. Right Rejection Letter

THE MR. RIGHT REJECTION LETTER FORM

Dear [____rejectee's name here_____] I regret to
inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the
competition was exceedingly tough and dozens of
well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to
make the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file
should an opening become available. So that you may find
better success in your future romantic endeavors, please
allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were
disqualified from the competition:

[Check all those that apply] ___ Your breasts are
bigger than mine.

___ Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking
it, hyphenating it, or subjecting my children to it.
___ The fact that our finest dining experience to date
has been at McDonald's reveals a thriftiness that I find
unappealing. ___ Your inadvertent admission that you
"buy condoms by the truckload" indicates that you may be
interested in me for something other than my personality.
___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20
questions about yourself before you asked me one. ___
Your legs are skinnier than mine. If you can FIT into my
pants, then you can't GET into my pants.

___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you babe?" comment,
given the 9-months pregnant size of your beer gut, was
inappropriate. ___ You failed the credit check.

___ I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily
unappealing. ___ The fact that your apartment has been
condemned reveals an inherent slovenliness that I fear is
unbreakable. ___ The phrase "My Mother" has popped up
far too often in conversation. ___ You still live with
your parents. ___ You mention your ex-girlfriend's
name more than you mention mine.

___ Three words: size does matter.
Sincerely, [Your name
here]