Relationship Jokes

The Top 15 Signs You've Hired The Wrong Marriage Counselor

The Top 15 Signs You've Hired The Wrong Marriage Counselor

15. Degree on the wall reads "Doctor of Swingology."

14. Keeps repeating, "If you can't change course, you must
divorce."

13. "I'm afraid there's not much you can do with a penis
that small."

12. Her latest book: "Women Are From Venus, Men Are Lyin'
Bastards"

11. "Just shut up and screw" doesn't seem like very good
advice.

10. After you've earned enough "session points", you get to
choose either a Louisville Slugger or a Tazer gun.

9. When you and your spouse claim sexual incompatibility, he
throws a couple of pillows on the floor and says, "Prove
it."

8. "Communication, schmunication - let's talk about
'backdoor love'..."

7. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Dr. Ike Turner will see you now."

6. You quickly discover that his motto, "Don't worry, be
happy" is pretty much the extent of his knowledge of the
English language.

5. Always takes Hillary's side.

4. In order to open the lines of communication, she begins
the first session by hooking your genitals up to a car
battery and tossing your wife the keys.

3. Agrees with husband that a request to "honk on Bobo" is
foreplay enough.

2. "Mrs. Jones, I believe your husband is correct. You are a
whiny bitch."

1. Her last name has six hyphens.