Church Bulletin Bloopers

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and
Service
bloopers:

* Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we
have a nursery downstairs.

* Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First
Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side
entrance.

* Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday
nights. She's used the program herself and has been growing
like crazy!

* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the
birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius
Belzer.

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and
North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both
ends.

* Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk will please come early.

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come
forward and lay an egg on the altar.

* The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of
the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the
congregation will join in.

* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray
the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something
on the carpet should come forward and do so.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

* Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to
follow.

* Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
addition of several new members and to the deterioration
of some older ones.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be
"What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

* During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare
privilege of hearing a good sermon when A. B. Doe supplied
our pulpit.

* The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his
audience.

* The church is glad to have with us today as our guest
minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with
him. After the service we request that all remain in the
sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

* The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The
congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and
11.

* Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church
secretary.

* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in
preparing for the girth of their first child.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items
to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.