Religion Jokes

Don't Mesmerize the Congregation

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in
the collection plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him
that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation
into giving more. "And just how would I go about doing that?"
he asked.

"It is very simple. First you turn off the air conditioner
so that the auditorium is warmer than
usual. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile, you dangle
a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow arc above the
lectern and suggest they put 20 dollars in the collection
plate."

So the very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested, and
lo and behold the plates were full of 20 dollar bills. Now,
the preacher did not want to take advantage of this technique
each and every Sunday. So therefore, he waited for a couple
of weeks and then tried his mass hypnosis again.

Just as the last of the congregation was becoming
mesmerized, the chain on the watch broke and the watch hit
the lectern with a loud thud and springs and parts flew
everywhere.

"Crap!" exclaimed the pastor.

It took them a week to clean up the church.