Religion Jokes

Great Advice

A man has been in business for many, many years and the
business is going down the drain. He is seriously
contemplating suicide and he doesn't know what to do. He goes
to the Rabbi to seek his advice.

He tells the Rabbi about all of his problems in the business
and asks the Rabbi what he should do.

The Rabbi says "Take a beach chair and a Bible and put them
in your car and drive down to the edge of the ocean. Go to
the water's edge. Take the beach
chair out of the car, sit on it and take the Bible out and
open it up. The wind will riffle the pages for a while and
eventually the Bible will stay open at a particular page.
Read the first words your eyes fall on and they will tell you
what to do."

The man does as he is told. He places a beach chair and a
Bible in his car and drives down to the beach. He sits on the
chair at the water's edge and opens the bible. The wind
riffles the pages of the Bible and then stops at a particular
page. He looks down at the Bible and his eyes fall on words
which tell him what he has to do.

Three months later the man and his family come back to see
the Rabbi.

The man is wearing a $1,000 Italian suit, the wife is all
decked out with a full-length mink coat and the child is
dressed in beautiful silk. The man hands the Rabbi a thick
envelope full of money and tells him that he wants to donate
this money to the synagogue in order to thank the Rabbi for
his wonderful advice.

The Rabbi is delighted. He recognizes the man and asks him
what words in the Bible brought this good fortune to him.

The man replies: "Chapter 11".