Religion Jokes

Jewish Personals

Shul Gabbai, 36. I take out the Torah Saturday morning.
Would like to take you out Saturday night. Please write.

Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's
try it for eight days. Who knows?

Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with,
light shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah
together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not
important.

Orthodox woman with get, seeks man who got get, or can get
get. Get it? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.

Sincere rabbinical student, 27. Enjoys Yom Kippur, Tisha
B'av, Taanis Esther, Tzom Gedaliah, Asarah B'Teves, Shiva
Asar B'Tammuz. Seeks companion for living life in the "fast"
lane.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same
in woman.

Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write.

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No
personality.

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism
of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who
will accept my independence, although you probably will not.
Oh, just forget it.

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles,
Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks
non-smoker.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my
behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English
very good.

80-year-old bubbe, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish
male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I?

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart
to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets.
Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities. No fatties,
please.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent,
self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing,
skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen
desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and
krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.