Signs Jokes

Funny Bumper Stickers

Here are some scarcastic remarks for the day, or even for
bumper stickers.

1. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

2. Do I look like a f***ing people person?

3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent
lighting.

4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

8. You!... Off my planet!

9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little
feet, I'll put shoes on my cats

10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

11. The Bible was written by the same people who said the
Earth was flat.

12. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

13. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

14. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be ...?

15. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

16. Allow me to introduce my selves.

17. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you
missed.

18. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then
name streets after them.

19. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

20. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

21. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my
cleavage.

22. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

23. I have a computer, a vibrator & pizza delivery. Why
should I leave the house?

24. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

25. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving
if you touch me?

26. It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.

27. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

28. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

29. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

30. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

31. Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

32. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted
paychecks.

33. Okay, okay, I take it back! UnF*** you!

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

36. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

37. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

38. I plead contemporary insanity.

39. And which dwarf are you?

40. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

41. Meandering to a different drummer.

42. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to
go?