Sports Jokes

My Turtle is Faster than Your Dog

A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his
hand. The turtle's one eye is black and blue, two of his legs
are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct
tape.

The bartender asks the man, "What's wrong with your
turtle?"

"Nothing," the man responds, "This turtle is very fast. Take
your dog and
let him stand at the end of the bar. Then go and stand at
the other end of
the room and call your dog. I'll bet you $500 that before
your dog reaches
you, my turtle will be there."

So the bartender, thinking it's an easy $500, agrees. He
goes to the other side of the bar, and on the count of three
calls his dog.

Suddenly the guy picks up his turtle and throws it across
the room, narrowly missing the bartender, and smashing into
the wall.

"Told you it'll be there before your dog."