Computer Jokes

Adaptation of the Raven

Adaptation of the Raven

...try reading this one out loud...

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision
bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the
floor, Longing for the warmth of bedsheets, Still I sat
there, doing spreadsheets:

Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the
drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE
command But got instead a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry,
Ignore."

Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
Carefully, I weighed my options. These three seemed to be the
top ones. Clearly I must now adopt one - Chose: "Abort,
Retry, Ignore."

With my fingers pale and trembling, Slowly toward the
keyboard bending, Longing for a happy ending, hoping all
would be restored, Praying for some guarantee Finally I
pressed a key - But on the screen what did I see? Again:
"Abort, Retry, Ignore."

I tried to catch the chips off-guard - I pressed again, but
twice as hard. Luck was just not in the cards, I saw what I
had seen before. Now I typed in desperation, Trying random
combinations. Still there came the incantation - Chose:
"Abort, Retry, Ignore."

There I saw, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine
accosted; Getting up, I turned away and paced across the
office floor. And then I saw an awful sight, A bold and
blinding flash of light, A lightning bolt that cut the night
and shook me to my very core. The PC screen collapsed and
died, "Oh no - my database", I cried!

I thought I heard a voice reply, "You'll see your
data-Nevermore!" To this day I do not know The place to which
our data goes Perhaps it goes to Heaven where the angels have
it stored.

But as for productivity - well, I fear it has gone straight
to Hell. And that's the tale I have to tell - Your choice:
"Abort, Retry, Ignore."

-- Decidedly NOT Edgar Allen Poe