Computer Jokes

Top 26 Things You'll Never Hear An Engineer Say

1. Debug code developed 4 years ago for a rush project with
absolutely no documentation? Love to!

2. More documentation? Love to!

3. Why would anyone who spends every day of the week working
on a computer want to spend any of their free time playing
computer games?

4. Join in a Quake game? No thanks, I'm leaving early to
spend some quality time with my friends and family.

5. Please - not pizza again.

6. Who wrote this? I've never seen such clean code! It
should take me no time at all to debug it.

7. I'm really more of a morning person myself.

8. I'd really like to work in a big corporate environment
where I can wear all of my favorite ties.

9. Microsoft - all the tools and support you'll ever need.

10. I really don't know the answer to that question.

11. From a network guy - No I'm sure it's not an application
issue - I probably just haven't segmented the LAN correctly -
I'll get right on that.

12. From a developer - I have complete confidence in the
network so why don't I just take a look at my code.

13. It's too simple, need more tables.

14. This field name is too descriptive, we love mystery
here.

15. Please let me copy those 800MB source files over the
network with my 32MB of RAM machine.

16. Yeah, give administrator permissions to EVERYBODY.

17. It will be done before deadline, under budget and with
the extra features you wanted.

18. Oh, wow, more reports!!! WooHoo!!!

19. Data integrity?!?!? we don't need no stinkin' data
integrity.

20. Go ahead, put that zip code in the Street name field.

21. We can always manually correct all those bad entries.

22. There's no real difference between Text Strings and
Numbers, it's all zeros and ones after all...

23. Hey! I met the deadline! Woohoo!

24. Please let me wear a shirt and tie to work... I hate
flip-flops.

25. Can you make a last minute change to the data structure.
I like pressure.

26. Hey, call Microsoft! I bet they have the answer!