Computer Jokes

WINDERS 98

WINDERS 98

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the
Alabama edition of windows 98 may have accidentally been
shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama
editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the
opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background
picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate
flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.

Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer
is called "This Infernal Contraption", Dialup Networking is
called "Good Ol' Boys", Control Panel is known as the "Dern
Dashboard", Hard Drive is referred to as "4 wheel drive",
and floppies are "them little ole plactic disc thangs".

Other features:

Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a
garbage bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot yes = shore no =
Naaaa find = hunt-fer it go to = over
yonder back = back yonder help = hep me
out here stop = ternit off start = crank
it up settings = sittins programs = stuff at does
stuff documents = stuff I done done Also note that
winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation
marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98
tiperiter...........A word processor colering
book.......a graphics program addin
mershene......calculator outhouse paper .....notepad
jupe-box ...........CD Player
iner-net............Microsoft Explorer
pichers.............A graphics viewer
IRS.................M/S accounting software
IRS2................M/S accounting software with hidden files
coon dog............American kennel club records
fishin..............Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
NRA.................National Rifle Association shot
gun ...........Remington Arms price list
riffel..............Winchester price list
pisstel.............Smith & Wesson price list
truck...............Ford &Chevrolet dealers in AL by zip code
house...............Nearest Mobile home repair service by
zip code car ................same as truck just need two
list in Alabama cuzzins.............family history
usually a 3 meg file tax records.........usually an empty
file shells..............ammunition inventory another 3
meg file bud.................list of Budwiser dealers by
zip code rasin...............NASCAR racing schedule
includes list of TV stations that carry the race car n
truck Parts...nearest Junk yard by zip code doc
...............veterinarians by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you
received a copy of the Alabama edition. You may return it to
Microsoft for a replacement version.