Computer Jokes

What If the E-mail is Right?

I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home
recovering from having actually been served a rat in his
bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was
in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all
over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS
KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that
said "Call 911!" But he was afraid to use his phone because
it was connected to his computer, and there was a virus on
his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened
an e-mail entitled "Good Times, Join the crew!"

He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to save us from
Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around. His program will
prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get
together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all
last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was
also promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I
would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to
report his missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return
slot he got jabbed with an HIV- infected needle around which
was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."

Luckily, he was only a few blocks from the hospital -the
one, actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer
is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to
send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed
to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him
two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the
shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty
people you will have good luck, but forward it to only ten
people you will only have ok luck, and if you send it to less
than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along
without his headlights on. To be helpful, he flashed his
lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.

And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the
Dark Ages.