Education Jokes

Daffynitions

The Washington Post recently had a contest for readers in
which they were asked to supply possible alternate meanings
for various words. The
following were some of the winning entries:

Abdicate-v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.

Carcinoma-n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy
smog.

Esplanade-v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly-adj., impotent.

Flabbergasted-adj., appalled over how much weight you have
gained.

Negligent-adj., describes a condition in which you
absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph-v., to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle-n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Bustard-n., a very rude Metrobus driver.

Coffee-n., a person who is coughed upon.

Flatulence-n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after
you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash-n., a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle-n., a humorous question on an exam.

Semantics-n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the
priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the
priest's prayer book together just before vespers.

Rectitude-n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

Marionettes-n., residents of Washington who have been jerked
around by Mayor Barry.

Oyster-n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddish expressions.

Circumvent-n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.