Gender Jokes

English Translations By Gender

Women's English:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious
by now
Do what you want = You will pay for this later
We need to talk = I want to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You sweat a lot and you need to shave
Your certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you think
about?
Be romantic, turn off the lights = I don't want you to see
my flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = And carpeting and furniture and
wallpaper . . . .
Hang the picture there = NO! I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I am about to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you
aren't going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing really = Your such an ass hole

Men's English:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you
Can I take you out for dinner? = I'd eventually like to have
sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you
Nice dress = Nice cleavage
You look tense, let me give you a masssage = I want to
fondle you
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex tonight?
I love you = There I said it, Let's have sex now
I love you too = Now we have to have sex!
Let's talk = I am trying to prove to you that I am a deep
person and maybe then you'll have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to
have sex with other guys.