Lawyer Jokes

Getting a Lawyer to Give to the United Way

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had
never received a donation from the town's most successful
lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade
him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly
income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity.
Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some
way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied,
"First, did your
research also show that my mother is dying after a long
illness, and has
medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbled, "Um...
No."

"Or," the lawyer continued, "that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way representative began to stammer out
an apology but was interrupted when the lawyer added, "Or
that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident?" the
lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "Leaving her pennyless
with three children?"

The humiliated United Way representative, completely beaten,
said
simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't
give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"