Lawyer Jokes

Life's Lost Laws

1. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen
and stupidity

2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

3. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery
easier to live
with.

4. Deja moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull
before.

5. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people is mentally ill.
Check three
friends. If they're OK, you're it.

6. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad
check.

7. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.

8. It has recently been discovered that research causes
cancer in rats.

9. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

10. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your
book.

11. Corollary: If you are given a take-home test, you will
forget where
you live.

12. The trouble with doing something right the first time is
that
nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

13. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to
serve as a
warning to others.

14. TJ's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

15. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains
because the
average man can see better than he can think.

16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no
influence on
society.

17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving
from where
you left them to where you can't find them.

18. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits
the fan will
not be evenly distributed.

Number 16 of course, came from Mark Twain