Lawyer Jokes

Bribing the Judge

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was
talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll
be ruined!"

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt
like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold
you in contempt of court."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in
favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse,
he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars.
It really worked!"

Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have
lost the case if you'd sent them."

"But I did send them.", replied the man.

"What?" shouted the lawyer?

"I sure did, that's how we won the case . . . good thing I
remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."