Male Jokes

The Rules (by men)

* If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways,
and one of those ways makes you sad or angry... we meant the
other way.

* Department stores and malls were purposely designed so
that when you want to look at bed linen, shower curtains or
handbags, there are always some speakers, tires or sporting
equipment nearby.

* We don't know ANYTHING about handbags. Please, don't even
ask.

* We DID water the plants. They died anyway. Nobody knows
why this happens.

* Silence does not always need to be filled with discussions
about "us" and "the relationship."

* It is in neither your best interest or ours to take those
stupid magazine quizzes together. * Actually, you probably
don't want to know what we're thinking about.

* Good things for you to help us with: the Sunday
crossword, yard work, the dishes, cleaning, and grocery
shopping. * Things you should let us do alone: figuring
out where we are, watching anything on TBS, playing cards,
and home repair.

* Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do
we.

* Curley is the bald one. * Unless you are willing to
follow the careers of Cal Ripken, Michael Jordan, or Arnold
Schwarzenegger, don't expect us to know what Helen Gurley
Brown, Hilary Clinton, or Naomi Wolf are up to.

* Socks never constitute a gift. * Dinner out is a pretty
good birthday present. Two tickets to a ball game are even
better.

* Two hot dogs and a drink at a baseball game do, in fact,
constitute going out to dinner.

* Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible
in an argument. All comments become null and void after
seven days.

* You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you
want it done-not both. * Whenever possible, please say
whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

* No, you can't have the remote control.

* When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto
the off ramp, your saying "This is our exit" is not
necessary.