Male Jokes

Reasons Sheep are Better Than Women

•Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teeth

•You can get a better grip on a sheep's ear

•Sheep
don't shy away from boots and leather

•Cotton mouth is
easier to get rid of than a social disease

•Nuttin'
beats mutton

•Sheep won't argue about whose turn it is
to go get a towel

•Sheep won't drink your liquor,
smoke your weed, snort your coke, and then

tell you they
have to be home early

•Sheep never ask if you're ready
to settle down

•Sheep never ask about you former
lovers and then get pissed off when you

tell them

•No matter how old or ugly you are, you can always find a
willing ewe

•Sheep are never concerened about their
reputation

•Sheep won't tell all their friends about
the time you couldn't get it up

•Sheep won't ask if
you're gay the first time you can't get it up for the

second time

•Sheep never insist on eating out

•You'll never catch your sheep masturbating to a picture of
Mel Gibson

•Sheep don't get suspicious if you have to
work late

•Sheep don't smell like tuna fish

•Sheep don't get moody once a month

•You can eat a
lamb chop without getting wool stuck in your teeth

•A
sheep doesn't expect you to support her for the rest of her
life after

one roll in the hay

•A sheep never wears
curlers and a mud pack to bed

•A sheep doesn't stop
screwing after the honeymoon

•A sheep won't get drunk
and throw up in your car

•A sheep won't think that a
weekend stay-over entitles her to rearrange

your furniture
and put up new curtains

•A sheep won't expect you to
pay...and pay...and pay...and pay

•A sheep will never
complain about the spittoon in your pickup

•A sheep
will never throw out your old copies of Playboy

•A
sheep won't care of you keep your fish bait in the
refrigerator

•A sheep won't get even with you by
spending your paycheck on new clothes,

one of which are
see-through or meant to be worn in the bedroom

•A
sheep will never sue you for palimony

•A sheep won't
care if you screw her sister

•A sheep won't care if
your secretary is better looking than she is

•A sheep
will never tell you the ceiling needs to be painted while
you're

screwing

•A sheep won't use you razor to
shave its legs, or your pocketknife to open

a paint can

•Sheep never have a headache

•A sheep won't give
your favorite hunting shirt to Goodwill

•A sheep won't
leave wet nylons hanging all over the bathroom

•A
sheep will never ask you to stop on the way home from work
and pick up a

box of tampons

•Sheep grow their own
fur coats

•A sheep will never leave a vibrator on the
living room couch when you're

having friends over to watch
football

•Sheep won't cheat on you with your best
friend

•A sheep will never ask if you'll still respect
her in the morning

•Sheep aren't into talking before
or after sex

•A sheep never yells at you for leaving
the lid up

•A sheep won't send you out for batteries
for her vibrator

•A sheep doesn't think it's demeaning
or kinky to do it doggy style

•A sheep won't mind if
you put up mirrors in the bedroom

•Sheep are "ram
tough"

•A sheep won't think your cheap and tacky if
you: send daisies instead of

long-stemmed red roses, tip
less than 20%, wear levis with a hole in the

seat, open
beer bottles with your teeth

•Sheep don't mind if you
leave the lights on

•Sheep don't mind doing it in the
morning

•Sheep don't mind doing it in a pickup
truck

•A sheep will never use the excuse that: she
just did her nails, it's too

hot, it's too cold, you'll
wake the kids, you'll wake the neighbors, she's

too drunk
to enjoy it, she's not drunk enough to enjoy it

•A
sheep will never leave you for a cucumber