Misc Jokes

12 Things NOT to Say To a Police Officer

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in
Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't
plugged in.

3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with
me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical
condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only
gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one
of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there
are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Son . . . your eyes look red,
have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond
with, "Gee Officer your eyes
look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"