Misc Jokes

Comparison of World Religions

Confucianism: Confucius says, "Shit happens."

Buddhism: If shit happens, it really is not shit!.

Zen: Shit only happens when it does not happen.

Hinduism: This shit happened before (and it will happen
again).

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Protestant: Let shit happen to someone else.

Catholic: If shit happens, you deserve it!

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Atheism: Shit happens for no apparent reason.

Agnosticism: I think shit happens.

Baptist: I BELIEVE shit happens! (Amen)

Jehovah Witness: Let us in and we will tell you why shit
happens.

Scientologist: Feces occurs.

Hare Krishna: ShithappensShithappensShithappens.

Existentialism: I shit therefore I am. (Defeco ergo sum)

New Age Religion: Shit came to me in a vision.

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.

Paganism: If you send shit out into the world, it will
return to you threefold.

Mormons: If shit happens, the Church gets 10%.

Stoics: This shit doesn't bother me.

Hedonists: There's nothing like a good shit happening.

Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock knock. Shit happens.

Atheism: No shit.

New Life Christian: Pay us money or shit will happen.

Quantum Physics: The probability that shit will happen is...

Quantum Physics 2: Shit is a wave AND a particle!

Branch Davidianism: David Koresh: I am the shit!

Occultism: I see shit happening in your future.

Bahaiism: Same shit, different pile.