Misc Jokes

Temperature

"Cold" is a relative term. Use the handy list below to
overcome the confusion.

Degrees (Fahrenheit)

65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night

60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)

50 Miami residents turn on the heat

45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts

40 You can see your breath Californians shiver
uncontrollably Minnesotans go swimming

35 Italian cars don't start

32 Water freezes

30 You plan your vacation to Australia

25 Ohio water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming

20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South

15 French cars don't start
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you

10 You need jumper cables to get the car going

5 American cars don't start

0 Alaskans put on T-shirts

-10 German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink

-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist

-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start

-25 Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going

-30 You plan a two week hot bath
Swedish cars don't start

-40 Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South

-50 Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window

-80 Hell freezes over
Polar bears move South
Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game

-90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets