Misc Jokes

Optimist v. Pessimist

An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist
sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the
negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the
positive.

For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new
bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could
actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his
find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe
him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a
pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his
new dog.

As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they
fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the
water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked
across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more
than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a
duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to
retrieve it.

The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not
say a single word.

On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you
notice anything unusual about my new dog?"

"I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He can't swim."