Misc Jokes
Software Upgrades can damage your Wealth
Dear Sir
Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife
1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little
system resources for other applications. He is only now
noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which
are further consuming valuable resources.
No mention of this particular phenomenon was included in the
product brochure or the documentation, though other users
have since informed him that this is to be expected due to
the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0
installs itself such that it is always launched at system
initialisation where it can monitor all other system
activity.
He's finding that some applications such as Poker Night
10.3, Beer Bash 2.5, and Pub Night 7.0 are no longer able to
run, crashing the system when selected (even though they
always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0
automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as
Mother-In-law 55.8 and Brother4n.law Beta release. As a
consequence, system performance seems to diminish with each
passing day.
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:-
1) A "Don't remind me again" button.
2) Minimize button.
3) An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be
installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the
loss of cache and other system resources.
Some people have decided to avoid all of the headaches
associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 6.0.
Even here, however, they found many problems. Apparently you
cannot install Girlfriend 6.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You
must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is
a long standing bug which they should have been aware of.
Apparently all versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over
shared use of the I/O port.
You would think they should have fixed such a stupid bug by
now.
To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend
1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the
application in the system.
Another annoying problem:
All versions of Girlfriend continually pop up annoying
messages about the advan-tages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
***BUGWARNING***
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install
Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0 - Wife 1.0 will
delete MSMoney files before executing a self-unin-stallation.
Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming
insufficient system resources.
***BUG WORK.AROUNDS***
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a
different system and never run any file transfer
applica-tions such as laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar
shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses
that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run
Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name.
Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be
downloaded from the UseNet.
PS: Most women prefer men with a large RAM and CACHE
availability.!!