Misc Jokes

New Viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly claims it's a
MAC.

Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of
your computer.

Titanic virus................Makes your whole computer go
down.

Disney virus.................Everything in the computer goes
Goofy.

Mike Tyson virus.............Quits after one byte.

Prozac virus.................Screws up your RAM but your
processor doesn't care.

Sharon Stone virus...........Makes a huge initial impact,
then you forget it's there.

Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5
inch floppy.

Tim Allen virus..............Appears helpful, only to
destroy your hard drive upon contact.

Woody Allen virus............Bypasses the motherboard and
turns on a daughter card.

Saddam Hussein virus.........Won't let you into any of your
programs.

Tonya Harding virus..........Turns your .BAT files into
lethal weapons.

George Michaels virus........Runs its course, occasionally
releasing excess data buildup.

Joey Buttafuoco virus........Only attacks minor files

X-files virus................All your Icons start
shapeshifting.

Spice Girl virus.............Has no real function, but makes
a pretty desktop.

Ronald Reagan virus..........Saves your data, but forgets
where it is stored.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus.....Searches your hard drive for
old files and deletes them.

Sony Bono virus..............Just when you get surfing the
web, a firewall appears out of nowhere.

Martha Stewart virus.........Takes all your files, sorts
them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to
be displayed on your desktop.

Oprah Winfrey virus..........Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.

AT&T virus...................Every 3 minutes it tells you
what great service you are getting.

MCI virus....................Every 3 minutes it reminds you
that you're paying too much for the ATnT virus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus..Terminates and stays resident.
It'll be back.

Viagra virus.................Expands your hard drive while
putting too much pressure on your zip drive.