Misc Jokes

List of Oxymorons

•"Anarchy rules!"

•"Free with purchase"

•"Happy
Monday"

•"Never generalize"

•"One size fits all"

•"Slow children" (sign with a picture of a running child)

•"Thank God I'm an Atheist"

•"This page intentionally
left blank"

•A little big

•Academic sorority

•Accordion music

•Accurate stereotype

•Act naturally

•Advanced BASIC

•Aerobic exercise

•Affirmative
action, equal opportunity

•Affordable housing

•Aging
yuppie

•Airline food

•Almost exactly

•Alone
together

•American beer

•American chop suey

•American culture

•American education

•American
English

•American geographers

•American history

•American Honda

•Apple tech support

•Arms limitation

•Art student

•Artificial intelligence

•Athletic
scholarship

•Australian spelling

•Automated data
processing

•Back to the future

•Bad health

•Balding hair

•Bankrupt millionaire

•Beginning
Finnish

•Better than new

•Black light

•Boring
orgasm

•Brave politician

•British fashion

•Budget
deficit

•Bug free code

•Business ethics

•Butthead

•Cafeteria food

•California culture

•California
expressway

•Canadian culture

•Casual intimacy

•Catproof

•Central Intelligence Agency

•Centrally-planned economy

•Cheerful pessimist

•Childproof

•Christian education

•Christian militia

•Christian Scientists

•Church of Scientology

•Civil engineer

•Civil servant

•Civil libertarian

•Civil war

•Classic rock & roll

•Clean dirt

•Clean hack

•Clearly confused

•Clearly misunderstood

•Clinton leadership

•Coca-Cola Foods

•Coed
fraternity/sorority

•Collective liberty

•College
algebra

•College education

•Colored music

•Committee schedule

•Committee decision

•Common sense

•Communist Party

•Completely unfinished

•Compulsory volunteering

•Computer science

•Computer
jock

•Computer security

•Congressional action

•Congressional ethics

•Congressional hearing

•Congressional oversight

•Conservative Democrat

•Conspicuous absence

•Constant change

•Construction
worker

•Convenience store

•Cooperative multitasking

•Corporate planning

•Cost effective

•Country
music

•Courtesy towing

•Creation science

•Curved
line

•Customer satisfaction

•CNN style

•Debugged
program

•Debutante ball

•Decent lawyer

•Definite
maybe

•Degradable plastic

•Democratic Congress

•Department of the Interior

•Desktop publishing

•Diet
ice cream

•Dining hall food

•Disco music

•Down
escalator/elevator

•Dress pants

•Driving pleasure

•Dry beer

•Dry ice

•Dry wine

•DOS operating
system

•Economic reform

•Electroshock therapy

•English syntax

•Enquiring minds

•Environmentalist
bumper sticker

•Ergonomic keyboard

•European
Community

•Evolutionary fact

•Exact estimate

•Executive decision

•Express bus

•Express mail

•Fair reporting

•Fair trial

•Fallout shelter

•Family entertainment

•Fast food

•Federal budget

•Fighting for peace

•Final version

•First annual

•First-strike defense

•Flat-busted

•Flexible freeze

•Football scholarship

•Forth programming language

•Found missing

•Free election

•Free electron laser

•Free love

•Freezer burn

•French culture

•Fresh frozen

•Friendly advice

•Friendly competitor

•Friendly fire

•Full-length bikini

•Full service

•Functional manager

•Funny clean joke

•Fuzzy
logic

•Gay drill sergeant

•Genuine imitation

•Good grief

•Good mother-in-law

•Good Alan Rudolph
film

•Government aid/assistance

•Government
efficiency

•Government integrity

•Government
organization

•Graduate student

•Great Britain

•Guest host

•Gunboat diplomacy

•Half dead

•Happily married

•Hard disk

•Hard water

•Hazardous waste disposal

•Helicopter flight

•Higher
education

•Holy Roman Empire

•Holy War

•Honest
crook

•Honest politician

•House Ethics Committee

•Huge market niche

•Human evolution

•Indecent
exposure

•Industrial park

•Institutional
Revolutionary Party

•Intelligent lifeforms

•Internal
Revenue Service

•IBM compatible

•Journalistic
accuracy

•Journalistic integrity

•Jumbo shrimp

•Just in Time (JIT)

•Justice Rehnquist

•Justice
Thomas

•Kentucky Fried Chicken

•Kosher ham

•Lace-up loafers

•Lebanese government

•Legal brief

•Legal ethics

•Legally drunk

•Liberal Party
(conservative)

•Liberal, Kansas

•Liquid crystal

•Literal interpretation

•Living dead

•Long Island
Expressway

•Male compassion

•Management science

•Management support

•Management action

•Management
style

•Marketing strategy

•Married life

•Martial
law

•Math teacher

•Mature student

•McDonalds
dinner

•Meatless hamburger

•Medicaid payment

•Medical ethics

•Microsoft Works

•Middle East peace
process

•Military intelligence

•Militart justice

•Military peace

•Modified final judgement

•Monopoly

•Moral Majority

•Mutual attraction

•Mutually
exclusive

•Necessary meeting

•New Classic

•New
Democrat

•New Mexico

•Nice cat

•Noble savage

•Non-alcoholic beer

•Non-denominational church

•Nonworking mother

•Now, then

•Nuclear defense

•Objective parent

•Oddly appropriate

•OpenVMS

•Operating system

•Operation Rescue

•Pacific Ocean

•Paperless office

•Partly pregnant

•Passive
aggression

•Peace force

•Peace officer

•PeaceMaker missile

•People's Democratic Republic Of
Yemen

•Personal computer

•Petty cash

•Philosophy
science

•Plastic glasses

•Plastic silverware

•Pocket calculator

Police protection

•Polite cabbie

•Political leadership

•Political science

•Politically correct

•Poor Republican

•Pop art

•Portable standard Lisp

•Postal Service

•Pot luck

•Practical logic

•Precision bombing

•Presidential
promises

•Pretty ugly

Private e-mail

•Productivity committee

•Professional courtesy

•Progressive Conservative

•Proprietary standard

•Psychiatric care

•Public school education

•Quality
assurance

•Quality service

•Quebec intellectual

•QuickBASIC

•Quick fix

•Quick reboot

•R & D

•Rap music

•Rapid transit

•Rare steak

•Reagan
memoirs

•Real fantasy

•Realistic schedule

•Realtime computing

•Reasonable female

•Recently new

•Reckless caution

•Red Indians

•Relativistic
correction

•Religious education

•Religious fact

•Religious tolerance

•Religious science

•Republican
initiative

•Resident alien

•Responsible committee

•Restrained grandparent

•Rolling stop

•Rush hour

•Russian economy

•Safe sex

•Same difference

•Sanitary landfill

•Satisfied Democrat

•Saving price

•Savings & loan

•School food

•School vacation

•Scottish Danish (actual pastry sold at 7-11)

•Second
best

•Sedate sex

•Semi truck

•Semi-boneless ham

•Senate Ethics Committee

•Sensitive male

•Severely/slightly killed

•Silent scream

•Small crowd

•Smart bomb

•Smart drugs

•Social Security

•Social science

•Socialist Worker

•Soft rock

•Software documentation

•Software engineering

•Solid
glass

•Southern justice

•Spare rib

•Speed limit

•Sports sedan

•Stealth bomber

•Straight hook

•Strawberry Blond

•Student athlete

•Student teacher

•Summer school

•Suburban culture

•Supporting
documentation

•Sweet sorrow

•Swiss Steak

•Synthetic natural gas

•Tame cat

•Taped live

•Tax
return

•Television critic

•Temporary tax increase

•Terribly pleased

•Terminal initialization

•Tight
slacks

•Tone color

•Total Quality Management (TQM)

•True gossip

•True story

•Unbiased journalism

•Unbiased news reports

•Unbiased opinion

•Unbiased
predisposition

•Uncontested divorce

•Understanding
banker

•Understanding Unix

•Union workers

•United
States

•University of Nevada at Las Vegas

•Unix
prompt

•Unix security

•Unsalted Saltines

•Urban
planning

•User friendliness

•User-friendly war

•Vegetable beef soup

•Ventura Freeway

•Violent
agreement

•Virtual reality

•Voting power

•Waiting
patiently

•War games

•War hero

•Wilderness
management

•Windows NT (New Technology)

•Wonder Bread

•Woods Metal

•Working vacation

•Work Party

•Young Floridian

•Yummy sushi

•10K fun run

•12-ounce pound cake

•6502-based computer