Misc Jokes

Playing Blind

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns
to Wonder and says, "How is the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album has gone
into the top 10, so all in all I think it is pretty good. By
the way how is the golf."

Nicklaus replies: "Not too bad, I am not winning as much as
I used to but I'm still making a bit of money. I have some
problems with my swing but I think I've got that right now."

"I always find that when my swing goes wrong I need to stop
playing for a while and think about it, then the next time I
play it seems to be all right," says Stevie.

"You play golf!?" asks Jack.

Stevie says, "Yes, I have been playing for years."

"But I thought you were blind; how can you play golf if you
are blind?" Jack asks.

" I get my caddie to stand in the middle of the fairway and
he calls to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play
the ball towards him, then when I get to where the ball lands
the caddie moves to the green or further down the fairway and
again I play the ball towards his voice," explains Stevie.

"But how do you putt?" Nicklaus wondered.

"Well," says Stevie, "I get my caddie to lean down in front
of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I
just play the ball to the sound of his voice."

Nicklaus says, "What is your handicap?"

"Well, I play off scratch," Stevie assures Jack.

Nicklaus is incredulous and says to Stevie, "We must play a
game sometime."

Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously so I
only play for money, and I never play for less than $100,000
a hole."

Nicklaus thinks it over and says, "OK, I'm up for that. When
would you like to play?"

"I don't care - any night next week is OK with me."