Misc Jokes

The Tapeworm

This guy thinks he has a tapeworm so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor listens to his symptoms then give the guy a once
over, and agrees with his diagnosis. He tells the guy to come
back tomorrow with a banana and a cookie. "A banana and a
cookie???" the guy says, "I don't see how that's gonna' help
me!".....the doctor calmly reminds him that HE'S the doctor,
and if he wants to be rid of this tapeworm, he has to do as
he is told....

So, he leaves and comes back the next day with a banana and
a cookie. The doctor instructs the guy to drop his pants and
bend over, which he does, and the doctor peels the banana and
in one swift movement, shoves the banana up the guys
butt..... the guy is hoppin' and leapin' all over the
doctor's office, and the doctor is lookin' at his watch....
after one minute has passed, he shoves the cookie up the guys
butt... by this time the guy is not only embarrassed and
confused, but pissed off as well..... the doctor assures him
it is all part of the treatment, and to come back tomorrow
morning again, with the aforementioned banana and cookie....
the guy, totally humbled by now, leaves the office. he
returns the next morning, and the same scenario is
repeated..... this goes on for 7 days, and on the 7th day,
the doctor tells the guy, "ok, tomorrow is the last day of
your treatment..... I want you to come back here tomorrow
morning, this time with a banana and a hammer.... "A
hammer!!" says the guy, trying to imagine where the hell the
doctor was gonna' put the hammer!.... again, the doctor
assures him it's all part of the treatment.......

So, the next morning, the guy dutifully shows up with a
banana and a hammer.... he knows the routine by this time, so
he drops his pants and bends over..... the doctor deftly
shoves the banana up the guys butt... the doctor takes the
hammer and looks at his watch............. ......ONE
MINUTE.................................. ..........TWO
MINUTES...................................
..............THREE MINUTES..................................
...................FOUR
MINUTES.................................... ALL of a sudden
this HEAD pops out of the guys butt............ "HEY!!!!
WHERE'S MY COOKIE???!!!" WHAM!!!!!!!!