Misc Jokes

My Best Buddy!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two
shots. One for me and one for my best buddy."

Bartender says, "You want them *both* now or do you want me
to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?"

The guy says, "Oh, I want them both now. I've got my best
buddy in my pocket here." and he pulls a little 3 inch man
out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "You mean to say, He can drink that
much?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink it all, and then some." the man
retorted.

So the bartender pours the 2 shots and sure enough, the
little guy drinks it all up.

"That's amazing" says the bartender.

"What else can he do, can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and
says, "Hey, Rodney, Go fetch that quarter." The little guy
runs down to the end of the bar, picks up the quarter, and
runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock.

"That's amazing," he says, "what else can he do? Does he
talk?"

The man looks up at the bartender with a look of surprise in
his eye and squawks "Talk? Sure *he* talks. Hey, Rodney, tell
him about that time we were in down in Africa, on safari,
hunting and you called that native Witch doctor a "Jerk!"