Misc Jokes

Quotes from 11 Year-Olds Science Exams

QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS:

* "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin.
Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."

* "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull."

* "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe,
you expire."

* "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."

* "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and
caterpillars."

* "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them
and makes them perspire."

* "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look
like umbrellas."

* "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the
borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the
brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the
abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are
five - a, e, i, o and u."

* "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."

* "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."

* "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration."

* "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub
her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the
knees of the nearest medical doctor."

* "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of
Indiana."

* "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All
water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in
the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun
joins in this fight."

* "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth
through Africa."

* "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."

* "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."

* "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."