Misc Jokes

All Purpose Excuse Form

All Purpose Excuse Form, designed to get you out of the
trouble you've gotten in. Whenever there's a multiple choice,
pick the one that works best for your situation and use it.
You'll be surprised how effective this form can be!

Dear:

a) Mom b) Dad c) love of my life d) Assistant Principal e)
Local Police Chief,

Words cannot begin to express how sorry I am that your

a) Car b) House c) Pet d) Espresso maker e) Left arm

was severely damaged by my

a) infantile b) puerile c) inept d) comically brilliant but
nonetheless sadistic e) woefully under appreciated

prank.

How could I have known that the

a) car b) jet ski c) large helium balloon d) rodent driven
sledge e) Zamboni

I was riding in would go so far out of control? And while it
is true that I should not have pointed it in the direction of
your

a) house b) wife c) Cub Scout troop d) 1/16th sized replica
of the Statue of Liberty, complete with lightbulb in the
torch e) priceless collection of Rolling Rock beer cans,

you must understand that it was all meant in fun. The
subsequent carnage that I caused is beyond my ability to

a) imagine b) fathom c) comprehend d) appreciate e) pay
for,

and I must therefore humbly ask your forgiveness. I know
that you are perfectly within your rights to

a) hate me b) sue me c) spank me d) take my firstborn e)
gouge out my eyes with spoons and feed them to the fish in
your koi pond,

but I ask you to remember all the good times we've had,
joshing around at

a) school b) work c) church d) the bowling alley e) the
municipal jail,

and to remember that I am first and foremost your

a) friend b) child c) sibling d) lease co-signer e) only
possible match should you ever need a bone marrow
transplant.

I think that counts for more than one prank, especially one
that

a) was so stupid b) was so silly c) would have been funny if
it worked d) you would have done, if you had thought of it
first e) I'm going to use again on someone else.

Sincerely,

Me.