Misc Jokes

How Many Horoscope Signs to Change a Light Bulb

How many members of your sign does it take to change a light
bulb?

ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it?

TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the
burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep
discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's
supposed to be done!

CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to
help them through the grieving process.

LEO: Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their
agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while
they're out.

VIRGO: Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- one
millionth.

LIBRA: Er, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make
that two. Is that okay with you?

SCORPIO: That information is strictly secret and shared only
with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient
Hierarchical Order.

SAGITTARIUS: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about
a stupid burned-out light bulb?

CAPRICORN: I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

AQUARIUS: Well, you have to remember that everything is
energy, so....

PISCES: Light bulb? What light bulb?