Christmas Jokes

Is Santa a Woman?

I think Santa Claus is a woman....I hate to be the one to
defy a sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about
it...

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think
about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall,
they always seem surprised to find only lingerie suitable for
street walkers, cheap perfume, or any sharp object made by
Ronco which slices or dices, left on the shelves. On this
count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would
wake up Christmas morning to find a PlayStation under the
tree, still in the bag. And a male Santa would inevitably
have transportation problems because he would get lost up
there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask
for directions. Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a
man: - Men can't wrap presents - Men would rather be dead
than caught wearing red velvet. - Men would feel their
masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all
those elves. - Men don't answer their mail. (Except email
of course) - Men aren't interested in stockings UNLESS
somebody's wearing them. - Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing
would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up babes.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a
commitment