Computer Jokes

New Computer Viruses

You're always hearing about new computer viruses running
around. Here are some to watch out for. BEWARE!

LEWINSKY VIRUS
--Sucks all the memory out of your computer...then e-mails
everyone about what it did.

RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
--Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

MIKE TYSON VIRUS
--Quits after two bytes.

OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
--Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then
slowly expands to 200MB.

DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
--Deletes all old files.

ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
--Disks can no longer be inserted.

DISNEY VIRUS
--Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

PROZAC VIRUS
--Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS
--Only attacks minor files.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
--Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAAAAK.

LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
--Re-formats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then
discards it through Windows.

VIAGRA VIRUS
--Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

CLINTON VIRUS
--Gives you a 6 inch hard drive with NO memory.