Gender Jokes

I Bet

A little old lady entered the main branch of a large
downtown bank with a large grocery bag in her arms. She told
the teller that she wanted to open an account to make a
substantial deposit, in excess of $200,000. Further, she said
that since such a large sum was involved, she would deal only
with the president of the bank to make the necessary
arrangements.

The teller looked in the bag and confirmed that it was, in
fact, full of cash. He called upstairs and explained the
situation to the bank president, who agreed to see the woman.
The teller escorted her to the president’s office, and the
president invited her to have a seat, which she accepted.

She repeated her request to open an account.

The president said he would take care of it personally, but
his curiosity was killing him. He said, "Mind if I ask how
you happened to come into such a large sum of cash?"

"Not at all," was her reply. "I bet."

"You bet?" he countered. "At the racetrack, or on
professional sports, or in casinos...?"

"Nothing like that," she said. "I just ... bet. For example,
I`ll bet you $50,000 that by tomorrow morning your balls will
be square."

The president chuckled but, seeing that the lady had the
funds to back up such a wild bet, agreed. They shook hands on
it, and she promised to return at nine the next morning to
follow up, and left.

As the day wore on, the president found himself frequently
checking to make sure that all was in order. It was, but just
as a precaution he cancelled his regular Tuesday-afternoon
golf match and went home early.

The next morning when he showered, he was actually quite
relieved to find that nothing had changed drastically while
he slept. He confidently headed for the bank, laughing all
the way at the unexpected windfall that was about to become
his.

The little old lady showed up promptly at the appointed
hour, accompanied by a young man. When the president asked
who he was, she replied that he was her lawyer, who she
always brought along when payoffs involving significant sums
were involved.

The president told her that sorry, she had lost that
particular bet, so the funds would be outgoing rather than
incoming. She insisted on examining the evidence for herself,
considering the amount at stake.

He deemed it a reasonable request under the circumstances,
so he stood up, unbuckled his belt and dropped his pants. She
proceeded to closely inspect his jewels for any
abnormalities.

As she did, the president noticed that her lawyer was
standing in the corner, banging his head against the wall. He
asked the lady, "What’s the matter with him?"

She paused her inspection long enough to glance at the
lawyer and replied, "Oh, him. I bet him $250,000 that before
ten A.M. today I`d have the president of the bank by the
balls."