Suicide: read this before ‘hanging’ on the rope
By: Andoh, Isaac Kyei
It is true that sometimes life can be so cruel that you find no reason to live a day more. Sometimes it is so easy to conclude that this life is a complete waste of time when you look at problems and the fact that death is inevitable despite all the pain involved in being here. When you are suffering and look at life this way, I want to painfully admit that suicide doesn’t look like the worst thing you can do. This is why I don’t judge those who did that in the past and won’t judge you for thinking of taking your life.
However, I will implore you to read this piece and make a decision that is in your best interest and the people you matter to.
I said your life in the first paragraph: I was wrong, there’s nothing like your life: the life you have is not yours alone my beloved friend.
When you go to a funeral and see many people crying, it should tell you that one person belongs to many people. Just take a look at the many people in your life who want you to succeed and how much you mean to them.
Just look at your mother, father, siblings and friends. Just look at the pain mum when through carrying you were in her womb during pregnancy. She nearly lost her life because of you but held on, she gave birth to you and nursed you when you were so fragile at birth. Since my wife gave birth to our son, sleep has become a luxury for us. He’d wake up not less than 7 times in the night and we have to keep watch over him. We do it with joy because we are looking at him becoming a great man in future and bury us when we are old and die.
This is the dream of every parent, that their children outlive them and bury them when they die at their old age.
Your mum and dad had the same objective for going through the trouble to raise you. My dear, it has not been easy for them: getting your daily meal all this while and keeping you in school. Just start doing the calculation from the day you were born till now and tell yourself how much has been invested in you alone in terms of money, time and emotion.
Do you know there’s a Ghanaian tradition that says a mother must keep eating her meal even if her child defecates into it? It is absurd but true, your mum may have used yours as a dessert. Funny, disgusting but it is very possible.
Your mum lost here beautiful figure because of you, you see why your dad is growing grey hair? You are the reason. Since you were born, he hasn’t gone a day without thinking of your future and how he can make it better than his. Thought of your future alone enough to wear him down and cause him to fade. Ask about his bp, he is dying softly by trying to live for you. He deserves a reward for his labour.
If they are renting, you are partly the reason, if they are in trotro, you are partly the reason, if they are always dressed in first selection of second hand clothes, you are the reason and if they are the rich and influential people in town, I want to tell you that you are the reason they worked so hard to get to where they are.
Don’t you think no matter the number of times you fail or get disappointed, these people deserve to see you live your whole life and hold their grandchildren from you one day?
Have you thought about how your singular decision is going to make useless all the effort made to get you where you are?
You failed the exams and so what? The richest people you see in society are those who were not so good in school. Some didn’t even get the chance to education but with hard work and determination, they are making it big and I mean real so.
The guy broke your heart so you want to end your life? Ask 10 happily married people and 7 will tell you they were once broken hearted. In fact, if you care to know, I was once broken hearted but today; I am happily married.
When you are broken hearted, be happy that you can move on to better things and better people: pray that your ex repents so that he doesn’t hurt more people. Don’t ever kill yourself for someone who just came into your life when your mum and dad had washed your urine and faeces and brought you to the point where he found you beautiful and attractive enough to call his babe.
He doesn’t deserve your life at all
Have you lost your job? It may even be an opportunity to start your own small business or find a better one. It takes patience.
I want to tell you that dying is not worth it my dear friend, it is not fair on those who love you and not fair on society. You are unique in your own way and the world will never have another kind of you again. Please, let us enjoy you for the full duration of time God makes you available to us okay. God won’t like it at all if you leave this earth before His own time.
You didn’t decide to be born and so cannot decide to die. In God’s own time, when he deems you ready to come to Him, He will call you. But not until He has made you what He wants you to be. He has great plans for you.
My favourite food is ampesi, what is yours? If you care to know, your sweetest meal isn’t where suicide will take you to? There’s no television there or anything for fun. You won’t get to watch The World Cup again or Kumkum Bagya. If you think it is lonely here, I want to tell you, it could be worse there. Kwodwo Nkansah Lil Wayne says ‘hi’
Face the challenges life presents you with and come out good. The most successful people are those who are able to overcome obstacles. You can be a great person if only you will hold on, rise up and walk. Someone has been on oxygen for the past month; he is paying money every minute on that machine. All he is doing is buying more time on this earth. You have this right in your hands but don’t value it.
We live in a world where the blind at birth still have hope of a better tomorrow; the man sentenced for 20 years is still waiting for the day he will be released so that he picks his life up where he left it: some people have been bed ridden since they were born but still look forward to tomorrow. You are thinking of killing yourself because of a problem millions of people will gladly accept in exchange of theirs.
Just imagine the face of your loved ones at your funeral? Just imagine how they will watch you as you are laid in state. As they cry, they know you died a preventable death. Is it fair to subject them to this pain? Their only crime was making you a part of their lives. On that day, your mum will remember the pain she went through at birth, your dad will remember the loan he took to take care of you and they’d realise that with just one selfish decision, you made all their effort spanning over a period of 15 years useless. Is it fair?
There is hope for you, the solution to whatever you are going through isn’t death, it is called TIME. God gave us time to heal every pain we go through in this world.
Now drop that rope, drop that knife, throw the poison somewhere and get away from the top of the building. If your problem is your parents, go and face them, even if they scold you, they will let go with time. They get angry when you go wrong because they love you and want the best for you. If your life means nothing to you, just look at the people who care about you, even if it is one person, live for the person and make the person proud.
With time, you will realise that life is worth more than every single challenge that confronts you. If the people who hurt you deserve that you to die for them, what about living for those who love you: the only people likely to be affected by your death?
If life is a battle field or a boxing match, committing suicide is like knocking yourself out with your own blow. You never see that in boxing. Until life kills you, live for tomorrow, you may have the last laugh. Who deliberately scores an own goal because the match is tough? Which athlete runs backwards because the race is tough? Each of these people loses because they were beaten by the competition and not because they beat themselves for the competition. Why do you want to approach life from the flipside when you can look at remarkable comeback stories?
The extra time goal should tell you that hope is never lost as long as there’s breath. Some boxers win with technical knockout in round 12 after losing each of the first 11 rounds. Such is life, it is not about the beginning or even midway through, it is about how it ends and I can assure you that it ends well for those who don’t give up. Only God knows about tomorrow, He says don’t give up.
It took 9 whole months for you to be carried in your mother’s womb: it has taken them many years to get you where you are now, don’t make all that a waste of time in just one day- it is the most selfish thing you can think of. I know you are better than that. Pain and sorrow lust but for a night, it may be a very very long night: but I can most certainly assure you, joy will come in the morning. Share that problem with someone, make the burden lighter and face the future with courage.
Choose life, live life: says no to suicide.
NB: Part 2 of this article will deal with those who can prevent people from getting to their breaking point
Isaac Kyei Andoh
FB: Isaac Kyei Andoh